Sunday, May 07, 2006

Minutes of Man vs Mongrel Meeting

Lots of quotes around floating around dogs. The best one being “A barking dog never bites”. It holds good for the moment i.e a dog cannot bite while it is barking. You can ofcourse equally quote “ A sleeping dog never chases”, or “A dead dog cannot sneeze”. It is the same mutual exclusion principle.. Principally I don’t want to test the theory of mutual exclusion. Some weirdo dog with a gene mutation could perhaps prove me wrong. Or perhaps land up in “believe or not” with the dog, narrating the moments when the unthinkable act was performed.

Carefully look at natures construct. Birds have wings so that they can fly, king fisher have a steep dive to catch an uwary fish, snakes don’t have backbone so they can slide well . Coming back to the animal of interest, Look at the dogs canine structure, the length of their teeth, the sharpness of its edges, and you would conclude that they were meant for biting and tearing through flesh. In the jungles the packs of mongrels can hunt their prey and do justice to natures construct. But in concrete jungles, the only other species apart from holy cows that is abundantly available are human beings. Human beings are not holy or revered (Watch how motorist carefully avoid the holy cattles when they are resting on busy roads, Now substitute the cow with a human being, i.e. a human being resting on busy road, and you could visualize how killer BPO-Sumos would honk to death) . Hence the only other animal for chase and hunt, is us the human beings. QED. Dogs will take a chance to bite it off. It is only but natural,

Discovery channel is filled with programs of bravery, love, intelligence and faithfulness of this species. I however feel that nobody has the cameras ready, when the other side of this species is revealed. I of course can only vividly remember the moments of abject fear , when my paths crossed with the paths of territorial mongrels. Unfortunately on that particular night, I was being a culture vulture.. Coming from the heartland, of heat Chennai., our dress tends to be minimal and light weighted (. It is believed that the Sun god, wanted to represent his fury, for lest the human beings, would plan to send a mission and disturb his solitude, and he choose, Chennai for this honor. . In this context it is important to note that The “Rising Sun” is a major political force in Chennai, ).To feel even the slightest of wind our dress are very light weighted. Facing a heavy wind these dress, gives way to internal organ exposure.

These dresses are not typically fit for a fast motion action, for e.g. you don’t want a dog chasing you in the darkness of night. Now unlike the advanced countries, such kind of advisory caution is not printed along the dress supply material. We don’t get a brochure on the terms and conditions for using the dress. We Indians typically learn by experience and pass it on by word of mouth. Me being e-literate this is the medium of my propagation. Hence friends, being a student,-pedestrian-India-equatorite-culture-vulture on the darkest of nights, returning from the viewing a movie in sub 10 rupee ticketing theater, when a pack of mongrels are looking for some target, to practice their primal instinct (i.e hunting), brings in the nature of man-mongrel conflict, when man is at the greatest disadvantage
Discovery channel has again and again, left this imprint on mind that, by running, you would fuel the animal’s instinct for a chase. Instead of it, one should be intimating and perhaps shout back.. There is similar theory; I have learnt in self improvement classes that, when faced with a challenge our brain knows, only two things, either to run or revolt. The part of the brain that holds all theories, suddenly dwarves into a shell covered peanut. It neither revolts or runs, but a state well known panic. There is a momentary shutdown of all brain activities. Things seem to occur in slow motion. But, the shell that covers the actual peanut pops, and kicks the theory of discovery channel down the plastic covered drains. The motion of activity in brain kicks up, and instructs the feet, to push back the earth to gain sufficient rate of change of momentum.. Newton, did not illuminate the world, that rate of change of momentum produced by human beings (or any animal), is dependent on the dress they are wearing.( The reason behind animals nakedness , for the want of speed, is thus exposed) ,. . Running with the dress on, for a non seasoned culture vulture, is like baby learning to walk. It takes time and patience to synchronize the swinging motion of the dress, and the fast rythym of your pacing leg. After all human beings need to learn everything, nothing comes out of pure instinct. Not being able to foresee the interplay of time , space and my dress, I was at this point surrounded by the pack of dogs, I would identify as 5-A main , LBS Nagar gang. (Note each gang has its own, structure, leader, procreation policies. Loyality is rewarded heavily. For e..g the residents for 5-A main are given a go away by 5-A main mongrels. Further provision of food, is all the more appreciated and recognized, Two words hence are locality and loaylity).. My Aim was to reach 2nd cross, where in, I would need to face new set of mongrels, but the loyalty and locality factor would offer protection against such violent chases. So coming back, the non synchronized running, finally let off my veshti, from the hold of my waist. . The speeding were blinded for a moment. Their sole purpose to bring down the target was replaced with chaos and commotion. This occurred at the very boundary of 2nd and 5th cross, and using these precious moments of confusion, I was in my line of safety. The prize ofcourse was my veshty, the very symbol my 5000 year old culture. It lay dead and spread on the streets of 5-A cross, revealing almost my TRUE self, standing on 2nd cross. As the almost my TRUE self was entering my house, a thought came to my mind, “TRUE culture is what is with in you, not in the dress that you are wearing”

Epilogue:

While the history of dress can be traced to ancient myths, the geometric explosion of mongrels is a more recent phenomenon. Dogs being tamed and domesticated by humans is what the history tells us. Though many dogs prospered in this environment with material comfort of food, dog house. (Human beings passed on their system of caste in terms of pedigree, and the dogs were never united since then)Their was always a lingering feeling , in the heart and mind of every mongrel, of returning back to the Jungle next year. The memories of uninhibited expression of love, hunting in packs, marking territory, melted, even the hard core mongrel. A particular breed stuck to this brilliant idea of moving to streets. They felt was a good compromise between the wild and domestic. (The clinching factor favoring the movement. was getting away from neutering and conforming to theory of species propagation by Darwin). This sense of betrayal, is still lingering , The howl of a street smart on viewing a domesticated is that of anguish mixed with pain of betrayal (It sounds woooowooooooowwooooooooooooowwwwooooooooooooow)..

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